By the time Fraser was parking the GTO outside Ray's apartment block, the tension in the air was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. Ray kept thinking that Fraser was going to speak, but when he turned his head, Fraser's eyes were always on the road.
They climbed the stairs silently, Ray leading the way, aware that Fraser's eyes burned into his back with every step he took. He was a bag of nerves by the time he'd reached his front door. "Jesus, Fraser, will you say something?"
Ray spun around and Fraser was right there, right up close behind him and his face was like a mask carved out of stone. "I dunno. Something. Anything. One of those amusing Inuit anecdotes of yours, maybe?"
"I can't think of one that would be appropriate," Fraser shrugged.
Ray unlocked his door and flicked on the lights. The apartment was a mess as usual with piles of un-ironed laundry on the sofa and a sink full of dirty dishes. Without even stopping to take off his jacket, he headed for the kitchen.
"You want tea? I don't have any of that... that tea-tree stuff you like..."
Ray halted his head-on dash for the safety of the kitchen to throw Fraser a confused look over his shoulder. "Woof?" he said uncertainly.
"No, I mean... I drink bark tea, not tea-tree. But ordinary tea will be quite sufficient. Thank you kindly."
"Ah! Right. Gotcha!" Ray filled the kettle and put it onto boil, and wasn't this nice? So very civilised. Hardly what he'd imagined when he suggested Fraser drive him home, but then how the hell did you jump a Mountie anyway? He busied himself fetching cups and sniffing the milk then when all he had left to do was to wait for the water to boil, he turned to face Fraser. "So...."
Fraser was standing in the middle of the living room, stiffly and to attention. "So?" he repeated, staring down at his shiny brown boots. "I believe you wanted to talk?"
Ray fiddled with his tie, loosening then tightening the knot, until finally he undid it completely before the urge to just choke himself and be done with it became overwhelming. He braced his hands on the counter. "I don't make a habit of it you know?" he sighed. "Picking up strangers and having sex with them, I mean. I don't... that was the first time." He hadn't meant to say that, at least he hadn't meant to just come right out with it. He'd intended to work his way up to that. Shit, why was he being so defensive?
"I see." Fraser nodded.
Ray shoved away from the counter and began pacing. "You couldn't sound any more disapproving could'ya Frase? Only I feel like I'm coming out to my parents or something here..." And that was one memory he didn't want to relive anytime soon.
Fraser dropped his hat onto the top of the pile of ironing and began unlacing his boots. "Well... I'm sorry but I'm afraid that I do disapprove, Ray. Anything could have happened..."
But as Ray opened his mouth to interrupt, Fraser held up his hand, effectively stalling anything Ray would have said. "However... its none of my business. You're a grown man, and perfectly capable of making your own decisions."
"Exactly!" Ray crowed triumphantly. "So just to be clear here. What part of it pisses you off? The picking up a stranger part, or the fact that he was a guy?"
Fraser rubbed his eyebrow frantically. "I thought I'd already made it perfectly plain that I didn't have a problem with homosexuality."
Ray stopped pacing and came to rest in front of Fraser. "Um you were a little, how can I put this, ambiguous, Frase." He'd been angry that Ray had never told him he liked guys, and he'd admitted that he liked Ray but not men in general. It wasn't exactly an admission of undying love. It wasn't even an admission of vague interest, really. Ray felt he could use a little more reassurance here.
"I was not in the slightest bit ambiguous. I told you quite clearly that even though I was not attracted to men on the whole, I found you rather... well actually I find you very... you're...."
"Spit it out Frase, before I die of waitin'"
"You're a very fine person, Ray. I like you."
Ray threw his hands up in the air and whirled away in frustration. Benton Fraser, master of understatement. He could get that much from his orthodontist... or from the bag lady that lived outside the stationhouse. "That's... great. Just great. Don't do me no favours, okay?"
Fraser's hand on his arm stilled him. "I mean I like you, Ray. I like you lot."
Ray turned slowly, eyes fixed on Fraser's fingers where they curled tightly around his bicep. "As in..."
As they spoke Fraser moved closer, one tiny step at a time until there was barely an inch of space between them. Ray backed up against the counter until there was nowhere else to go. Fraser wrinkled his nose. His eyes narrowed and something dark and primal flitted over his face. It made Ray shiver.
"I can smell him," Fraser murmured. "I can smell him on your skin." He bent his head, nuzzled aside the open neck of Ray's shirt, pressed his nose into the hollow of Ray's neck and inhaled deeply. "His mouth was here," he growled possessively, shoving Ray's jacket out of the way to get better access.
Ray felt heat rise in his cheeks. He hadn't showered yet. He could only imagine what the smell of sweat and sex was doing to Fraser. Actually, he didn't have to imagine, he could feel what it was doing. As Fraser pressed closer, Ray could make out the shape and heat of his arousal, pressing hard against his hip. He gasped and clutched at Fraser's biceps in an effort to stay upright.
"It's driving me insane," Fraser muttered between tiny, nipping bites all the way up Ray's throat. "I can taste him on you. He was all over you, wasn't he, Ray?"
His fingers shook as he tried to get the shirt buttons unfastened, so Ray helped, worried that if he didn't, Fraser might just yank the edges apart and the damned shirt had cost a fortune.
Fraser's fingers danced across his skin, tracing patterns over his torso and chest, his hot, hungry mouth following their path. Ray struggled to free the shirt cuffs as Fraser slipped the shirt and jacket from his shoulders. They fell to the floor with a soft thud, but Fraser's hands had already moved to Ray's belt.
Ray's knees went weak. This was a version of Fraser he'd never seen before. This was Fraser unleashed. Ray had always felt that there must be passion inside Fraser, tightly controlled and buried under a ton of red serge, but there somewhere. But dear God, he was like a wild animal, biting Ray's throat and tugging at his clothing. He'd gone totally non-verbal and Ray loved every last minute. Being responsible for that, causing that, really buttered Ray's muffin.
Fraser sunk to his knees, hauling Ray's suit pants and his underwear down to his ankles in one fluid motion.
"Oh, Jesus..." Ray moaned, as his dick smacked wetly against his stomach. He was leaking pre-come like a sieve. He risked looking down and saw only the top of Fraser's head as he tugged off Ray's shoes and socks. In a matter of seconds, Fraser had stripped him of all his clothing, and as he stood shivering with cold, he wondered what the hell Fraser was thinking. Normally he could read his partner like a book, but there was very little of his partner showing right now. Fraser the Mountie had gone, replaced by Fraser the man.
And the man was out of control.
Fraser surged upwards and slammed him against the counter, pining his naked, trembling body against the wood. The red serge rubbed against Ray, his hypersensitive skin prickling at the feel of it. The leather of Fraser's Sam Brown scraped his skin, almost painfully. Ray gulped in air, trying desperately to keep his feet on the floor as Fraser's teeth grazed his throat again. He seemed inordinately obsessed with that one spot.
"Can't stand it..."Fraser growled. "Can't stand his scent on you."
"Shower," Ray panted, thinking quickly. He wanted Fraser so badly it hurt, but he didn't want him all angry and resentful. Snarly and aggressive was good, it was something Ray could really get behind, but he'd found that angry sex had its down side. It usually came with a shit load of regrets later.
"Shower," Fraser agreed stepping back to let Ray get his bearings. The door to the bathroom was only a few steps away, yet it seemed to take forever to get his feet to take him there. The fact that Fraser's eyes burned into his ass as he walked didn't help. It hadn't escaped his attention that Fraser was still fully uniformed up while he was as naked as a jaybird.
Ray didn't turn around when he finally got inside. He just went right to the shower and switched it on, making sure it was at the right temperature. He was almost afraid to turn around. Afraid that Fraser might have changed his mind. Maybe the sight of his skinny white ass had put him off, or maybe he'd...
"God, Ray you're perfect!"
Ray almost jumped out of his skin. Fraser was right behind him, fingers touching his back with hesitant supplication. And Jesus, he was naked. How the fuck had he gotten out of all those clothes so quickly, and... and who cared? So long as he didn't stop with the touching.
Ray leaned back into Fraser's touch and let go of the breath he'd been holding. Perfect wasn't a word he would have used to describe himself. But if that was what Fraser saw when he looked at him, then Ray wasn't about to argue. Fraser's lips ghosted over the sensitive spot on the back of Ray's neck.
"Jesus, Frase! You got no idea how many times I've thought about this," he admitted breathlessly. This particular scenario was one of his favourites. This, and the one where he bent Fraser over the Ice Queen's desk...
Behind him, the heat of Fraser's body became even more intense as he moved closer, so close that his erection bumped against Ray's ass and he hissed at the feel of it. "I wish you'd said something," he whispered in Ray's ear. "Because I've thought about it too."
"Yeah?" Ray tried to take his mind off the feel of that hot, heavy piece of flesh rubbing against his ass by checking the temperature of the spray again. It was as close to perfect as it was going to get, so he stepped into the shower and turned to look at Fraser for the first time. And maybe it was a good thing that the room was full of steam and he didn't have his glasses on because the sight of all that warm, naked flesh, and the darker smattering of hair pointing like an arrow downwards...
"I thought about it often," Fraser was saying, as he stepped into the shower and shoved Ray back against the cold tiles. "When we were in your car on a stakeout, or when we were sitting on your sofa eating pizza." Fraser ran his hands all over Ray, as he spoke, touching him everywhere, confidently and with great skill. Ray let his eyes drift closed and just let himself feel. For a guy that had no experience with other guys, Fraser was doing real well. Oh yeah, real well.
Fraser's mouth followed his hands and now he was pressing the words directly onto Ray's skin. "When we were in pursuit of criminals, or off duty. When I climbed into my bed at the end of a long day, alone and hurting, I would think of this."
Ray shivered and groaned, arching his body as the words vibrated through him. "God, Frase!"
"Sometimes I would dream of making love to you on my desk, or your desk or even inspector Thatcher's desk..." Ray's eyes shot open at that remark. Jesus, they'd both had the same fantasy? Already he was thinking of ways to make that one come true, but then Fraser stepped back, squeezed some shower gel into his hand and began to thoroughly wash Ray down. And that pretty much put an end to any thinking on Ray's part.
"Sometimes all I could think about was..."
Ray opened one eye when Fraser fell silent. "Yeah?" he prompted shakily.
Fraser used a washcloth to wipe the soapy lather from Ray's neck and shoulders. "It's rather silly."
Ray took the cloth from his fingers and hung it on a hook. "Nothing you can say to me right now will be viewed in any way, shape, or form, as silly."
Fraser pushed him back against the tiles again and leaned in close, so close that Ray could count the pores on his skin. "Sometimes all I could think about was kissing you," he said it so softly that Ray wondered if he'd imagined it.
"No shit?" Ray croaked, finding his eyes drawn to Fraser's mouth. And then Fraser was kissing him. Okay, eating him alive more like, and it was all heat and slippery wetness and tongues battling. Ray was sliding down the tiles, but Fraser was holding him up, and he clung to the broad shoulders and hung on like his life depended on it. He let Fraser lead. Because he always had. And he always would.
Fraser pulled back, breathing hard, a terrible intensity burning in his eyes. "The thought of him touching you makes me..."
What? Angry? Jealous? Horny? Ray wasn't sure what he could see in those eyes, but it may have been a combination of all three.
"Did he kiss you like that, Ray?" Fraser growled. And that was the only way Ray could have described what came out of this mouth. It was a growl... low, deep and menacing.
"No, Frase..." Ray didn't quite know how to tell him that the 'no kissing' rule had been his idea, or why he'd insisted on it in the first place. "...I didn't want that with him. Didn't want that sort of intimacy." It was hard to explain.
Fraser let out a short, mirthless snort. "I see. Yet you had sex. That wasn't intimate?"
"Frase, can we not talk about this now?" The mood was definitely waning here. But Fraser didn't seem to notice the tension in the air. He'd slid one hand onto Ray's flank and was kneading it harshly.
"He touched you here, didn't he?" Fraser snarled, and Ray shivered at the feel of his hand cupping his ass. Fraser's other hand reached for the showerhead, tugging it down from its mounting on the wall. "I want all trace of him gone."
"Ah, Fraser..." His attempt to put Fraser straight about the actual level of intimacy he and Daniel had shared froze unspoken in his throat at the feel of the hot water pounding between his legs, pummelling his balls.
"When I take you in my mouth, I want to taste you, not him..."
The water hammered into the sensitive flesh of his ass, almost too much sensation concentrated in one place. Then Fraser's finger, slick with shower gel, slid across his entrance and his knees gave way. Fraser's leg came up between his, propping him up.
Fraser's finger was sliding inside him, robbing him of the words. His mouth was too busy moaning. Fraser moved the cascade round to the front, holding it less than an inch away from the head of Ray's cock, moving it in tiny, maddening, circles. It was too much, to intense, the spray and the fingers and Fraser's low, guttural growls.
"Frase!" he gasped, as one finger became two. "Jesus, Jesus..." He was going to come from this. Fraser was going to make him come right here in the shower. How the hell did the guy know how to do this? What, did he read it in a book? The Gay Kama Sutra or something? Had Fraser read that? Maybe there was something in the Mountie manual? A section on 'being prepared' for gay sex... Okay, he was blithering but, Jesus.... that felt good.
Then the fingers slid out. Fraser replaced the shower head in its mounting and continued to clean every inch of skin he could reach, paying special attention to Ray's straining dick. He turned Ray around and placed his hands on the tiles, running soapy hands up and down Ray's back and muttering all the time.
Now that Fraser's fingers were out of his ass and he could think straight again, Ray finally found his voice. "He didn't fuck me. I didn't fuck him either. Just so you know."
Fraser's fingers tightened on his dick almost painfully. "You didn't?"
"Just... hands...Jesus!" Ray began to buck into the tight circle of Fraser's fingers. "Hands and mouths. No... kissing.... No... fucking.... Ah, Christ Frase, you're killing me!"
But Fraser didn't make any attempt to move. He just stood there; staring at Ray, water streaming down him face. Ray tried to get his breathing back under control. "Frase?"
Fraser turned off the shower and gently wiped the water away from Ray's face with his hands. "Why?" he said softly, pressing kisses onto Ray's forehead.
"Because..." Ray faltered, trying to find the words he needed to explain this. He wasn't good with words. Words were Fraser's thing. "Because it was just about sex. It was about need, about scratching an itch. We didn't love each other. Hell, we didn't even know each other! I wanted to save the kissing and the lovemaking for someone... someone..."
"Someone?" Fraser prompted.
Ray took a deep breath. "For someone I was in love with. For you, ya big dufus!"
Fraser smiled, taking Ray's face between his hands; he looked into Ray's eyes. "And I love you too, Ray." And then he kissed Ray, long and slow and hard until they were both trembling with need again.
"Frase, can we take this into the bedroom? I'm not sure I'm up for shower sex right now."
"Nonsense, Ray." Fraser beamed, handing him a towel. "You're in your prime. And you are most assuredly up for it," he glanced significantly at Ray's groin, "However, I think I would prefer to make love to you for the first time in the comfort of a bed."
Ray wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out of the shower. "In my prime huh? We'll see."
He stepped aside to let Fraser pass, and just as the Mountie stepped into the hall, Ray tugged his towel off and slapped his ass hard. Fraser yelped and made a bolt for the bedroom.
As he lay on his stomach letting Fraser lick any dammed thing he wanted, for once without complaint, Ray called to mind snatches of the previous night's lovemaking. It had humbled him how much Fraser had needed to give him pleasure, never once asking for anything in return. He remembered Fraser's eyes, how they had widened in shock then narrowed in pleasure when Ray had wrapped his hand firmly around Fraser's dick. He remembered the way Fraser's mouth has slackened in pleasure when he'd begun a slow leisurely rhythm.
There had been sounds too, that would stay with Ray for a long time. The way Fraser gasped when he had finally slid slowly into Ray's body. The way he had cried out Ray's name when he came. All burned into his memory forever. He'd imagined making love to Fraser so many times and in so many ways, but the reality of it had been so much more. So much better.
"What are you thinking about?" Fraser whispered, blowing softly onto the wet skin below his lips and making Ray's ass contract.
"I was just wondering..."
Fraser's tongue flicked out, lapping repeatedly over Ray's entrance until he was groaning in delight. "Wondering?"
Panting, Ray licked dry lips. "Yeah... um. Yeah, I was wondering..." Ray heard the sound of a cap being popped and the squelch of lube being squeezed out. "I was thinking that maybe....Oh fuck!" The cold lube dribbled down the crack of his ass and over his balls. His legs automatically fell further apart.
Fraser's fingers followed the tricking lube from ass crack to balls, rubbing it in, massaging lightly, then one finger slipped inside him to the knuckle. "Christ! Um... you know last night, we were talking about fantasies?"
The finger pressed in deeper and Ray let out a low moan. Fraser was dammed good at this, and one day he was going to ask him where he'd learned it but right now... right now he couldn't care less where the Mountie's skills came from so long as he kept doing... oh Jesus... that. One finger became two, moving in and out of him slowly.
"You were saying?"
"I was saying something?" Ray gasped, as the fingers sped up a little. "Oh yeah.... fantasies... last night.... You said something about.... Yeah, that's it... right there.... Oh yeah!"
For a few minutes Ray couldn't speak at all as Fraser expertly finger fucked him to within an inch of coming all over the sheets. Then the fingers were gone and he was being tugged onto his knees. He dimly heard the sound of a condom wrapper being torn open and then he was being filled again.
And damn it all to hell, the Mountie was still talking. "Please continue, Ray."
"Fuck! Oh, fuck! Frase.... I can't.... I can't fuck and chit chat at the same time!"
Fraser began thrusting more deeply, his breathing becoming heavier but not impeding his ability to talk in the fucking slightest! "Nonsense, Ray... women do it.... all the time. They call it... multitasking."
Ray's head hung between his braced arms. "Shut... up!"
"In fact, Inuit women... are well know for... their ability to..."
"Fraser!" Ray yelled is disbelief. There was no way, no way on God's Earth that the Mountie was about to tell him an Inuit story while they were fucking! No way! But then Fraser's fingers tightened on his hips and he began really slamming into him.
He lasted about a minute. "Jesus..." Ray choked out and came, without anyone actually touching his dick at all, which was unheard off.
As they lay in a tangled heap fighting to get their breathing under control, Fraser peeled off the used condom, tied it off, using what Ray supposed was a double sheep shank, half hitch, reef knot, or something and tossed it into the trash can.
"Are you going to tell me?"
Ray lifted his arm away from his face and squinted up at Fraser. "Do I have to?"
"Okay, okay." Ray rolled onto his side and placed a hand over Fraser's heart. "I love you."
Fraser looked a little startled. He smiled, and the whole room seemed to get ten degrees brighter. "That's... incredibly sweet Ray. And of course I love you too, but I was actually referring to our previous conversation. About the fantasies?"
Ray rolled onto his back and began to laugh. "Jesus, Frase you are like a dog with a fucking bone! "
"If by that you mean I'm tenacious, then thank you kindly." Fraser rolled onto his side and began trailing his fingers lightly up and down Ray's stomach, making him twitch and squirm. "So, what were you wondering, Ray?"
Ray closed his eyes and sighed, knowing that the Mountie would never stop until he'd gotten his ... answer.
"I was wondering... when is the next time the Ice Queen will be out of town?"
"That's what you were wondering?"
"Oh yeah. Cos if she's out of town, she's out of her office..."
Fraser's eyes darkened as he finally got it. "Ahhhh!" he grinned playfully. "I believe there's a conference in Ottawa at the end of March..."